Lord of the Rhyme
by Faerlas
Summary: An eclectic collection of song parodies, poem parodies, and perhaps an original poem or two, celebrating the unexistent link between Middle earth and this one. I accept anonymous reviews!
1. Take Me Home, Rohan's Fields

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings, I do not own the song "Take Me Home, Country Roads" by John Denver. But I do own my lantern.

_Authors note: This is to the tune of Take Me Home Country Roads_ _by John Denver. If you do not know this song, you will not get this song fic!_

**Take Me Home, Fields of Rohan**

_The Fellowship is traveling through the Misty Mountains. One night, a song is called for, and Boromir volunteers to sing. He whips out a guitar and begins._

Verse 1.

Almost Numenor, Minas Tirith.

Tall white city with a mighty girth.

Life is old there, older than the trees,

Younger than the mountains, banners in the breeze.

Chorus

Rohan's fields, take me home

To the place, I belong

Minas Tirith,

Hope of the West

Take me home, Rohan's fields.

Verse 2.

Middle-earth's hope is gathered 'round her.

Big white city by the Great River.

It's tall and lofty, where the steward sits on high.

Built 'gainst the White Mountains

Where the White Tree abides.

Chorus

---

I hear its horns, in the mornin' hours she calls me.

The Anduin reminds me of my home far away.

Ridin' down through Rohan I get the feelin' that I should have been home yesterday, yesterday!

Chorus


	2. Everybody's Got a Really Sharp Sword

Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings. I do not own Veggie Tales. I do not own Microsoft, I did not invent the internet...

_This is a Silly Song fic. The silly song is (I don't remember what it is called) Everybody's got a water buffalo one. Ya._

**Everybody's Got A Really Sharp Sword**

_Frodo is upon Weathertop, cornered by the dreaded Nazgul, suddenly, the Nazgul king draws his sword and begins to sing..._

Ooooooh! Everybody's got a really sharp sword!

Mine is steel, your's is board.

I got mine from the Dark Lord

Oh everybody's got a really sharp sword!

_Suddenly, Nazgul #5 runs in and thinly screeches: _Stop! Stop! Not everyone has a really sharp sword! We're going to get nasty letters saying 'Where's my really sharp sword? Why don't I have a really sharp sword?' You can't sing stuff like that! Now sing something else!

_The Nazgul King droops his head, then suddenly gives a short, shrill laugh and begins singing again. _

Oooooooh! Everyone's got a ring of power...

_The Nazgul king gets knocked over by Nazgul #5 and Frodo gets safely away. _


	3. Elrond's Feather Bed

Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR, I don't own the song "My Grandma's Feather Bed" by John Denver. I do not own Disney World either. Shocker!

**Elrond's Feather Bed**

_While in Lothlorien, everyone in the Fellowship is finally getting over the death of Gandalf. As they are sitting around one night, Sam asks Legolas to sing a song. He expected an elvish song of some long forgotten occurrence, what he got was something quite different..._

Verse 1.

When I was a little elfling, just off the floor

We used to go out to Elrond's house, every year end or so.

Had quail, pie, roasted duck, and miruvor before bed,

But the best darn thing about Elrond's house was his great big feather bed.

Chorus:

It was nine feet high! Six feet wide! Soft as elvish silk.

Made from the feathers of giant elvish geese

And was pure white like milk.

It'd hold eight elflings, four huntin' hounds, and a pony that we stole from the shed.

Didn't get much sleep, but we had a lot of fun

On Elrond's feather bed.

Verse 2.

After supper, in the Hall of Fire, the adults would dance and sing,

The minstrel'd strum on his mandolin, and Elrond would talk of the Ring.

I'd sit and listen and watch the fire til the cobwebs filled my head,

Then I'd quietly sneak out and make my way to ole Elrond's feather bed.

Chorus

Well I love my bow and I love my knife,

Love mom and ada too!

I've been fishin' with Estel, I've wrastled the twins, and even Glorfy too!

But if I ever had to make a choice,

I guess it ought to be said,

I'd trade 'em all plus my favorite shampoo for Elrond's feather bed.

Chorus.


	4. I'm Sorry

Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR, I don't own the song "I'm Sorry" by John Denver.

_Authors note: Don't worry, eventually I'll spoof someone besides John Denver. As soon as I can find something else. LOL!_

**I'm Sorry**

_Deep in the Misty Mountains, sometime after Bilbo has gone back to Hobbiton. A wayward orc stumbles across a lamenting Gollum singing on his island. The orc wishes he hadn't..._

It'sss cold here in the deep cave.

It always ssseems that way,

I've been thinking about you almost everyday.

Thinkin' 'bout when I found you,

Thinkin' 'bout the pain,

Thinkin' how much I hate Bagginsss and his name.

I'm sssorry for the way thingsss are in Gondor!

I'm sssorry thingsss ain't what they used to be!

More than anything else,

I'm sssorry for myself,

'Cause your not here with me.

--

Smeagol asks about you,

I say you're doin' fine

And I hope to find you again almost any time.

But Smeagol knows we're dyin;

And we can't ssleep at night.

I think we're finally dying, down deep inside.

_--_

I'm ssorry that I didn't tightly hold you!

I'm ssorry for the things I didn't ssay!

More than anything elsse, I'm ssorry for mysssself.

I can't believe you went away!

--

I'm ssorry if I took sssomethingsss for grantit,

I'm ssorry for the chain they put on you!

More than anything elsse! I'm sssorry for myssself,

Living without you!

--------

_My preciousssss_


	5. Frodo Baggins Still Has the Ring

Disclaimer: I still do not own Lord of the Rings. I do not own the song "Wichita Lineman" by Glen Campbell.

_Authors note_:_ If you do not know this song REALLY well, you probably will get VERY lost VERY fast_!

**Frodo Baggins Still Has The Ring**

_On the path through the Old Forest Frodo begins to sing a strange song that none of the other hobbits can identify, but the tune is such that they can't help but hum along as Frodo sings the following song:_

I'm Frodo Baggins of the Shire

And I've got the One Ring.

I'm headin off to Rivendell

Where elves still sweetly sing

I know someone must destroy it,

And I frankly don't care who

Until then I'm Frodo Baggins

And I've got the One Ring

--

I hope it's given to an elf lord

With large clear eyes of blue.

I hope Lord Elrond picks someone besides me,

Who is true.

I need Gandalf more than want him

And I want him real bad

Until then I'm just Frodo

The young hobbit lad.

--

And I need Gandalf more than want him.

And I want him real bad!

Until then I'm just Frodo

The young hobbit lad.


	6. Wraith Riders in the Sky

Disclaimer: I have not becoming independently wealthy and bought Lord of the Rings, so no I don't own it! Nor do I own the song "Ghost Riders in the Sky". I'm not sure who wrote it, but the version I have was sung by Johnny Cash.

**Wraith Riders in the Sky**

_Frodo and Sam are in the Dead Marshes and suddenly realize that the Ringwraiths are on wings. As they fly over head, Sam spontaneously breaks out a guitar and a black cowboy hat and begins singing a strange and eerie song. As he begins to sing, singing prairie dogs and singing scorpions appear from nowhere and harmonize with him._

Three hobbits went riding out one dark and windy day

upon a swamp they rested as they went along their way,

when all at once a mighty steed of Mordor breed they saw

plowin through the ragged skies

and up the cloudy drawl.

----

There wings were still on fire and their teeth were made of steel.

Their horns were black and shiny and their hot breath they could feel

a bolt of fear went through them as they thundered through the sky,

for they saw the riders comin' hard

and they heard their mounful cry

----

yippie-aye-ooo

yippie-aye-ai

wraith riders in the sky

----

Their faces black their eyes unseen their cloaks all soaked with sweat

they're ridin hard to find that Ring but they ain't found it yet!

'Cause they got to ride forever on that range up in the sky

all the fell beasts snortin fire

as they ride on, hear their cry!

----

As the riders looked upon them

Frodo heard one call his name

"If you want to save your soul from hell and our fate so strange

then hobbit turn over the Ring or with us you will ride

tryin to serve the Dark Lord, and fly these endless skies

----

yippie-aye-ooo

yippie-aye-ai

Wraith riders in the sky

Wraith riders in the sky

Wraith riders in the sky!


	7. Thank Valar I'm a Shire Boy

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings, I do not own the song "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" by John Denver. Bet you never would have guessed that!

**Thank Valar I'm a Shire Boy**

_It is after the War of the Ring, and Sam is playing his long forgotten fiddle for a large group of hobbits gathered in the party field to celebrate the planting of the mellyrn tree._

Well life in the Shire is kinda laid back

Ain't much that a shire boy like me can't hack

It's Early to rise, Early in the sack

Thank Valar I'm a Shire Boy

--

Well the simple kind of life never did me no harm

Livin with my gaffer and learnin at his arm

My days are all filled with easy Shire charm

Thank Valar I'm a Shire boy

--

Chorus:

Well I got me a wife and I got me old fiddle

When the sun's comin up I got eggs on the griddle

Life ain't nothin but a funny funny riddle!

Thank Valar I'm a Shire boy

--

When the gardenin's done and the sun settin low

I pull out my fiddle and I rosin up the bow

The kids are asleep so I keep it kinda low

Thank Valar I'm a Shire boy

--

I'd play drinkin' songs all day if I could

But Rosie and my gaffer wouldn't think it very good

So I fiddle when I can and work when I should

Thank Valar I'm a Shire boy

--

Chorus

--

Well I wouldn't trade my life for bright rings or jewels

I never was one of them money hungry fools

I'd rather have my garden and my gardenin' tools

Thank Valar I'm a Shire boy

--

Rich folk go a-wearin' bright shiny things

and a lot of sad hobbits thinkin' "that's a mighty keen'

Well Pippin let me tell you exactly what I mean

Thank Valar I'm a Shire boy

--

Chorus

--

Well my fiddle was my gaffers til the day he died

And he took me by the hand and held me close to his side

he said, take my gardenin' tools and garden with pride

Thank Valar you're a Shire boy

--

Well my gaffer taught me young how to garden and how to whittle

Taught me how to work and play a tune on the fiddle

Taught me how to live and to give just a little

Thank Valar I'm a Shire boy!

--

Chorus

_When Sam finished his song everyone clapped and cheered. Then Pippin said, "But you're Gaffer's still alive."_


	8. Stopping By Caves During Battle

Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings, nor do I own the poem "Stopping By Woods On Snowy Evening" by Robert Frost. I wish I had that poetic genius... not fair...

_Authors note: I'm spoofing one of my favorite poems! HEHEHEHEHEHHEHE!_

**Stopping By Caves During Battle**

_During the battle in Helm's Deep, Gimli is wounded and finds himself in the Glittering Caves. As he wanders about he begins to put his emotions into verse._

Whose caves these are, I think I know.

His house is called Meduseld though,

He will not see me stopping here

To watch his caves glitter and glow.

My elven-friend does think it queer

To stop and gaze at the caves here

In the hills used for refuge sake

While fierce battle is raging near.

I give my weary head a shake

To make sure there is no mistake

About these caves in old Helm's Deep,

Then enter for my life's at stake.

The caves are lovely, dark, and deep

But I have promises to keep

And orcs to kill before I sleep.

And orcs to kill before I sleep.


	9. Elf Angel

Disclaimer: Don't own LOTR, don't own the song "Earth Angel" which I am spoofing. Dur!

_Authors note: This song was just too easy!_

**Elf Angel**

_When Aragorn first saw Arwen in Rivendell, he fell in love with her. Later, in Lothlorien, he sang to her a song expressing his love. _

Elf angel, elf angel

Will you be mine?

My darling dear

Love you all the time

I'm just a fool

A man in love with you!

---

Elf angel, elf angel

The one I adore

Love you forever and ever more

I'm just a fool

A man in love with you

---

I first saw you and I knew

The elf-ness of your love-loveliness

I hoped and I pray that someday

You're dad'd let me be your hap-happiness oh, oh, oh, OH!

---

Elf angel, elf angel

Please be mine

My darling dear

Love you all the time

I'm just a fool

A man in love with you-ou-ou

---

I first saw you and I knew

The elf-ness of your loveliness

I hope and pray that someday

That I'll be your mortal and your happiness

---

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh , oh, oh, oh

---

Elf angel, elf angel

Please be mine

My darling dear

Love you all the time

I'm just a fool

A man in love with you-ou (you, you, you)


	10. Oh Brandywine!

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, nor do I own the song "Shenandoah" or any form of it which I have spoofed.

_Authors note: If you know the song well, then this may not work. I only know an arrangement (quite a pretty one too!) So bear with. If you don't know either, then don't worry and enjoy it as a poem!_

**Oh Brandywine!**

_While trudging through Emmyn Muil, Sam begins to miss the Shire and breaks into a heartfelt song,_

Oh, Brandywine, I long to hear you

Away, you rollin' river

Oh, Brandywine, I long to hear you

Away, we're bound away

Across wide Middle-earth.

---

Now the Anduin's a mighty river

Away, you rollin' river

Old kingdoms camp a long her border

Away, we're bound away

Across wide Middle-earth.

---

Brandywine, I do love good ale

Away, you rollin' river

It was for it across you I'd sail

Away, we're bound away

Across wide Middle-earth.

---

For seven long years I loved to garden

Away, you rollin' river

Seven more years I longed to till it!

Away, we're bound away

Across the wide Middle-earth.

---

Well, it's fare-thee-well, Hobbiton,

I'm bound to leave you

Away, you rollin' river

Brandywine, I will not deceive you

Away, we're bound away

Across the wide Middle-earth.


	11. Off the Road Again

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, probably someone in the Tolkien family does. I do not own "On the Road Again" by Willie Nelson. I'm pretty sure Willie Nelson does.

_Authors note: This one was fun!_

**Off The Road Again**

_Before Frodo ever leaves for Rivendel, Aragorn makes his way back towards the Shire, and loathes every minute of it! As he is traveling through the Wild he begins singing._

I'm on the Road again

Just can't wait to get off the Road again

The life I dread is protecting Hobbits with my friends

And I can't wait to get off the Road again

I'm On the Road again

Goin' places that I've already been

Seein' things that I will prob'ly see again,

And I can't wait to get off the Road again.

---

On the Road again

We're a band of Rangers goin' down the highway

Grey Company is my friends

And we're prayin' the Dark Lord's gaze ain't turnin' our way

Not our way.

I'm on the Road again

Just can't wait to get off the Road again

The life I dread is protecting Hobbits with my friends

And I can't wait to get off the Road again

---

On the road again

We're a band of Rangers goin' down the highway

Grey Company is my friends

And we're prayin' the Dark Lord's gaze ain't turnin' our way

Not our way

I'm on the Road again.

---

Just can't wait to get off the road again

The life I dread is protecting Hobbits with my friends

And I can't wait to get off the road again

And I can't wait to get off the road again!


	12. He ain't Heavy, He's My Master

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any characters there in. Nor do I own the song "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" by some guy... I don't really know who, but whoever it is, I give him the credit for it!

_Authors note: I feel like I cheated on this one, it was sooooo easy! _

**He Ain't Heavy, He's My Master**

_Poor Sam is carrying Frodo through Mordor. During one of Frodo's troubled dreams Sam begins to sing._

The Road is long

With many a winding turn

That leads us to Mount Orodruin

It may be far

But I'm strong

Strong enough to carry him

He ain't heavy, he's my master.

- -

So on we go

His welfare is of my concern

The Ring is his to bear

We will get there

For I know

He would not encumber me

He ain't heavy, he's my master.

- -

If I'm laden at all

I'm laden with sadness

That poor Frodo's heart

Isn't filled with the gladness

Of love for one another.

He ain't heavy, he's my master.

- -

It's a long, long road

From which there is no return

While we're on the way to there

Frodo won't share

the load

He doesn't weigh me down at all

He ain't heavy, he's my master.

He's my master

He ain't heavy, he's my master.


	13. I’ll Take You Home Again, My Kin

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, or anything there in, nor do I own the song "I'll Take You Home Again Kathleen" by Thomas P. Westendorf.

_Authors note: It is in this song I reveal my love of Irish songs. YAY FOR ME! I do like this song, a lot! It's lilting melody, the bittersweet words... sigh_

**I'll Take You Home Again, My Kin**

_This is Cirdan's song to his elven kin before they cross the sea to Valinor. _

I'll Take You Home Again, my kin

Across the ocean wild and wide

To where your heart has ever been

Since you heard the waters wide.

The love of trees has left your speech.

I've heard it fade away and die

Your voice is sad when e'er you speak

And tears bedim your elven eyes.

_Refrain:_

Oh! I will take you back, my kin

To where your heart will feel no pain

And when you tire of the ocean's din

I'll take you to your home again!

--

I know you know which way to steer.

Your heart is ever fond and true

Of Valinor you love so dear.

I know you'll make it there, I do.

The smiles that you once gave for trees

I scarcely ever see them now

Though many, many times I see

The sea longing upon your brow.

_Refrain:_

_-- _

In that dear home beyond the sea

I know that you'll never here return.

And when thy old friends welcome thee

Thy loving heart will cease to yearn.

Where laughs the little silver stream

Behind white shores of Valinor

And brightest rays of sunshine gleam

There all your grief will be no more.

_Refrain:_


	14. It’d Be good to be Back Home Again

Disclaimer: Don't own LOTR, Don't own the song "Back Home Again" by John Denver. Duh.

_Authors note: Well, this wasn't how I planned it to turn out, but I think I like this better. I hope you all enjoy it!_

**It'd Be good to be Back Home Again**

_Frodo is traveling from his house in Crickhollow to Bree. Along the way he becomes a little depressed, and sings a little song about it all._

There's a storm across the valley, clouds are rollin' in

The world's fate is heavy on my shoulders.

There's a Wraith out on the Road, a mile or more away

The screechin' of his voice just makes it colder.

--

He's an hour away from ridin' on your prayers up in the sky,

And ten days on the road are barely gone,

There's a fire softly burnin', supper's on the stove,

And the hope of food in Bree makes me warm,

Chorus:

It'd be good to be back home again,

Sometimes I do wish that I never dragged in my friends,

Hey, it'd be good to be back home again.

--

There's all the news to tell me, from Gildor my elf friend,

And what the latest thing the dwarves do say?

And Gandalf sent word last Friday, he escaped the tower high,

And he reached Crickhollow just yesterday.

Chorus:

It'd be good to be back home again,

Sometimes I do wish that I never dragged in my friends,

Hey, it'd be good to be back home again.

--

And oh the time that I can lay this tired old body down,

And feel my feather quilt soft upon me.

The hope that I live for, the friends that lights my way,

The happiness that havin' good friends brings me.

--

It's the sweetest thing I know. It helps comfort me on this Road

It's the little things that make this bearable.

Like a fire softly burnin' and supper ov'r the flame, and the

Light of Bombadil's makes me warm.

Chorus:

It'd be good to be back home again,

Sometimes I do wish that I never dragged in my friends,

Hey, it'd be good to be back home again.

It'd be good to be back home again,

Sometimes I do wish that I never dragged in my friends,

Hey, it'd be good to be back home again.


	15. And Frodo Was His NameO!

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, no the song "Bingo!"

_Authors note: Ya, ya, this has probably been done to death, but I couldn't help myself! I walked about Cedar Point singing it, and I hope it gets stuck in your heads as well so you can run around singing it in public! HA! XD_

**And Frodo Was His Name-O!**

There was a Hobbit with a Ring and Frodo was his name-o.

F-R-O-D-O! F-R-O-D-O! F-R-O-D-O! And Frodo was his name-o!

There was a Hobbit with a Ring and Frodo was his name-o.

clap-R-O-D-O! clap-R-O-D-O! clap-R-O-D-O! And Frodo was his name-o!

There was a Hobbit with a Ring and Frodo was his name-o...

_Authors note: Okay, you know the drill from here I hope. If you so desire, you could say Bilbo. Another option is change the words too..._

There was a Hobbit in the Shire and Drogo was his name-o...

_Ah, the versatility of this song. Yet another option:_

There was a kingdom long ago and Arnor was it's name-o...

_Or, if you prefer..._

There was a human long ago and Estel was his name-o...

_The possibilities are nearly endless. I just thought I would do this song while I was thinking about it! Thanks for reading!_


	16. Smaug the Greedy Dragon

Disclaimer: Again, I don't own LOTR, nor the song "Puff The Magic Dragon" by somebody I don't know.

_Authors note: This song is dedicated to Lady Melarnath. She knows who she is! REVIEW!  
_

**Smaug The Greedy Dragon**

_This is the song that the men of Lake Town sang to their children after the destruction of Smaug._

Smaug, the greedy dragon lived by Long Lake

And burnt the happy town of Dale that dwelt upon the lake,

He terrorized the dwarf-folk, and killed the men folk too

And hoarded gold things and _mithril_ rings, and other fancy stuff. oh

- -

Smaug, the greedy dragon lived by Long Lake

And burnt the happy town of Dale that dwelt upon the lake,

Smaug, the greedy dragon lived by Long Lake

And burnt the happy town of Dale that dwelt upon the lake.

- -

High up in the sky he'd fly above the hills and streams

The villagers kept a lookout ever for that wretched fiend,

Noble kings and princes would cower whene're he came,

Elven raftmen would run and hide when Smaug roared out his name. oh!

- -

Smaug, the greedy dragon lived by Long Lake

And burnt the happy town of Dale that dwelt upon the lake,

Smaug, the greedy dragon lived by Long Lake

And burnt the happy town of Dale that dwelt upon the lake.

- -

A dragon lives forever but not so human men

Fiery wings and elves that sing their grandkids ne'er forget.

One grey night it happened, Bard shot the dragon down

And Smaug that greedy dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.

- -

His head was bent in great pain, black smoke fell like rain,

Smaug no longer went to torture along Long Lake.

With the arrow in his chest, Smaug could not be brave,

So Smaug that mighty dragon loudly splashed into his grave. oh!

- -

Smaug, the greedy dragon lived by Long Lake

And burnt the happy town of Dale that dwelt upon the lake,

Smaug, the greedy dragon lived by Long Lake

And burnt the happy town of Dale that dwelt upon the lake.


	17. Ain't No Mountain High Enough

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, nor the song "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" by someone. Either way, I don't own it.

_Authors note: Not particularly pleased with this one, mostly because I don't know the song that well, but I gave it my best shot. _

**Ain't No Mountain High Enough**

_The Uruk-Hai are attacking, Merry has told Frodo to run, but Frodo can't let him have the last word, so he jumps out from his hiding place, grabs a microphone from no where, and begins singing as the Uruk back up singers take their places and instruments._

Listen, Merry,

Ain't no mountain high

Ain't no valley low

Ain't no river wide enough, Merry

- -

Middle-earth has called me,

Elves asked me to go far,

It don't matter how far

They called my name

I came there in a hurry

You don't have to worry

- -

'cause Merry,

There ain't no mountain high enough

Ain't no valley low enough

Ain't no river wide enough

To keep me from destroying the Ring, Merry

- -

Remember the day

It came to me

I told you

You couldn't follow me

From that day on I made a vow

I'll be goin' to Mount Doom

Some way, some how

- -

'cause Merry,

There ain't no mountain high enough

Ain't no valley low enough

Ain't no river wide enough

To keep me from destroying the Ring, Merry

- -

No wind, no rain

The Ring is alive

Weighin' down in my heart

The Ring is tearing me apart

But I'm doing my to stand.

I'll destroy it on the double

As fast as I can

- -

Don't you know that

There ain't no mountain high enough

Ain't no valley low enough

Ain't no river wide enough

To keep me from destroying the Ring Merry

- -

Don't you know that

There ain't no mountain high enough

Ain't no valley low enough

Ain't no river wide enough


	18. Cloudy, Cloudy Night

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR or the song "Starry, Starry Night."

_Authors note: I'm not sure if I like this one. I'll post, you all decide if it is any good! For all you Josh Groban fans out there!  
_

**Cloudy, Cloudy Night**

_Pippin is in Minas Tirith, standing next to Gandalf and looking out towards Mordor. Suddenly, he begins to sing._

- -

Cloudy, cloudy night

All the sky is brown and grey

Sauron wants to win this day

His eye pierces through darkness to my soul

Shadows on the hills

Cover the trees and daffodils,

Ruin the breeze with a winter chill

In colours of the decay of his land

- -

Now I understand

What you tried to say to me

And how I'll suffer for my eavesdropping

And how you tried to set me free

I would not listen

I did not know how

It's to late to listen now

- -

Cloudy, cloudy night

His flaming eye that brightly blaze

Swirling clouds and violent haze

Reflect in Gandalf's eyes of china blue

Colours changing hue

Mordor's fields of ugly grey

Weathered faces lined in pain

Are trapped beneath the Dead Marshes soggy land

- -

Now I understand

What you tried to say to me

And how you've suffered for bringing me

And how you tried to help me see.

I would not listen

I did not know how

It's to late to listen now

- -

For I could not help you

But still your help was true

And when no hope was left insight

On that cloudy, cloudy night

You saved the men as hero's often do

But I could have told you Gandalf

Denethor will not appreciate one as powerful as you

- -

Like the strangers that you've met

The ragged men in ranger clothes

The golden ring of Sauron's search

Lie around the neck of dear Frodo

- -

Now I think I know

What you tried to say to me

And how you suffered for bringing me

And how you tried to help me see,

I would not listen

I'm not listening still

Perhaps I never will...


	19. Road to Gondor Blues

Disclaimer: I do not own anything!  
_  
Authors note: ENJOY!_

**Road to Gondor Blues**  
_As Aragorn is traveling, before the Fellowship was formed, he laments the fact that he must walk around like a hunted man, so he puts his feelings into song._

Well, these Road to Gondor blues,

I've walked holes in both my shoes.

Counted the days since I've been gone,

And I'd love to see the lights of home.

Spent lots time and money too;

Spent my youth in search of truth.

But in the end I had to lose,

Varda above, I've paid my dues.

Got the Road to Gondor blues.

-

The Road called when I was young,

Told me truth of things to come.

Fame and fortune lies ahead!

That's what Elrond had said.

Fragile dreams, my mind is numb,

My arm is sore, so is my bum.

My eyes are filled with bitter tears,

Varda, I ain't been home in years.

Got the Road to Gondor blues.

-

Instrumental Break.

-

You know, I've traveled all around,

Like a rolling stone, from town to town.

Met pretty girls I have to say,

But none of them could make me stay.

Well, I've slept in lordly halls and bars,

Had dirty clothes and traveled far:

And things a Ranger cannot use,

Rivendell I sure miss you.

Got the Road to Gondor blues.


	20. Men of the West Should Be Friends

Disclaimer: I do not own anything!

**The Men of the West Should Be Friends**

_Aragorn and Eomer are trying to convince their men to fight together, with no avail. Desperate, they turn to the Western Chorus Guys and begin to sing!_

The men of Rohan and of Gondor should be friends,

The men of Rohan and of Gondor should be friends.

-

Rohirrim where the horsie wigs, Gondorians have a city big

But that's no reason why they cain't be friends.

Men of the West should stick together,

Men of the West should all be pals.

Rohirrim dance with Gondor's daughters,

Gondorians dance with the Eorling gals.

-

I'd like to say a word for Gondor,

They come out West and made a lot of changes

They come out West and built a lot of strong holds,

And gave Rohan their horses ranges.

The men of Rohan and of Gondor should be friends,

The men of Rohan and of Gondor should be friends.

Gondorians deal with Eastern breeze, Rohan keeps their northern fronts at ease,

So there's good reason why they should be friends

-

Men of the West should stick together,

Men of the West should all be pals.

Rohirrim dance with Gondor's daughters,

Gondorians dance with the Eorling gals.

-

I'd like to teach you all a little sayin'

And learn the words by heart the way you should

I don't say I'm no better than anybody else,

But I'll be shocked if I ain't jist as good!

I don't say I'm no better than anybody else,

But I'll be shocked if I ain't jist as good!

-

Men of the West should stick together,

Men of the West should all be pals.

Rohirrim dance with Gondor's daughters,

Gondorians dance with the Eorling gals!


	21. Sobbin' Elfmen

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or the musical Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

_Authors note: I love LOTR and I love the musical "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers", so this is my feeble attempt to blend the two! ENJOY!_

**Sobbin' Elfmen**

_After Aragorn and Arwen were married, Aragorn got up on stage and Legolas, Glorfindel, Elrohir, Elladan, Celeborn, and Faramir got up on stage and began to sing a song they had written to Lord Elrond._

ARAGORN

Tell ya 'bout them sobbin' elfmen

Who lived in the Eldar days.

It seems that they all went ruling'

While their daughter was off to graze.

Well, a Mortal Man was wanderin' by

And saw her dancin' and jumpin' high,

So he took her heart, made her daddy cry.

That's what the Lay of Lethien says.

-

Oh yes!

Them a elfmen was sobbin', sobbin', sobbin'

Fit to be tied.

Ev'ry muscle was throbbin', throbbin' throbbin'

and wantin' his hide.

Oh they cried and cursed and cursed and cried

All over Beleriand's countryside

So don't forget that when you're takin' a bride.

Sobbin' fit to be tied

From want of his mortal hide!

-

Beren never did return his daughter,

The victor gets all the loot.

She followed him to death, by magic,

To Sauron's hideout too.

And you've never seens so,

They tell me, such downright domesticity.

With a elven baby on each knee

Named "Dior" and "Elwing"

-

SIX SINGERS

Oh yes!

That a elfmen was sobbin', sobbin', passin' them nights.

-

ARAGORN

While Berin was goin' out hobbin', nobbin'

Startin' up fights.

Luthien kept dancing all through the nights, While her father was gettin into fights

With Morgoth and sayin' "Someday we'll conquer his night!"

-

GLORFINDEL

Conquern' all of his frights.

-

ARAGORN

Just fightin'!

While Luthien danced at nights.

-

LEGOLAS

"Hey listen to this"

Now when Aragorn turned twenty

Lord Elrond was not there.

So Aragorn caught Arwen

The likeness of Luthien fair.

-

ARAGORN

Now let this be because it's true,

A lesson to the likes of you,

Date elf women like the mortals do

When their daddy's are not there.

-

SIX SINGERS

Oh yes!

Them a elfmen was sobbin', sobbin',

Sobbin' buckets of tears

On account o' old Beren',

Aragorn' really rattled their ears.

Oh they acted angry and annoyed

-

GLORFINDEL

But secretly they was overjoyed

-

ARAGORN

You must recall that when picking out your mate

-

SINGERS

Oh, oh, oh, oh them poor little dears.

-

SIX SINGERS and ARAGORN

Oh yes

SINGERS: Them a elfmen was sobbin', sobbin', sobbin'

ARAGORN: Oh yeah then sobbin' elfmen

SINGERS: Weepin' a ton Then sobbin' elfmen

Just remember what datin' datin' datin'

ARAGORN: Oh yeah them sobbin' elfmen

SINGERS: Hood woulda done. Them sobbin women.

We'll be just like them three merry men

And make 'em all merry once again.

-

ARAGORN

And though they'll be a sobbin' for a while

-

ALL

Oh yes!

We're gonna make them sobbin' elfmen smile!

- - -

_After the song and dance ended Elrond put his hand to his head and rubbed it while saying, "And I let him marry my daughter?"_


	22. Ring of Fire

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR nor the song "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash.

_Authors note: I thought of this song, and realized, I'd have to do hardly anything to it, so I picked it! YAY FOR ME!_

**Ring of Fire**

_After the Ring is destroyed, Pippin makes the foolish mistake of asking Frodo about the Ring and its effect on him. Frodo whipped out his guitar and began to sing..._

– – –

Sauron is an evil thing

And he made a fiery Ring.

Bound by wild desire

I tried to keep the Ring Of Fire

--

CHORUS:

I tried to keep the burning Ring Of Fire

My will went down, down, down

And the Dark Lord's got stronger

-

And it burns, burns, burns

The Ring Of Fire

The Ring Of Fire

-

I fell slave to the burning Ring Of Fire

My will went Down, Down, Down

And the Dark Lord's got stronger

-

And it burns, burns, burns

The Ring Of Fire

The Ring Of Fire

---

The taste of pow'r is sweet

When weakness and power meet

I fell for it like a leery child

Oh, but the Ring went wild

-

CHORUS

I fell slave to the burning Ring of Fire

My will went down, down, down

And the Dark Lord's got stronger

-

And it burns, burns, burns

The Ring Of Fire

The Ring Of Fire

-

I fell slave to the burning Ring of Fire

I Went Down, Down, Down

And The Flames Went Higher

-

And it burns, burns, burns

The Ring Of Fire

The Ring Of Fire

-

And it burns, burns, burns

The Ring Of Fire

The Ring Of Fire


	23. Ash Chunks Keep Falling On My Head

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR or the song "Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head" by B. J. Thomas.

_Authors note: I recently discovered this song, and when I did, I decided then and there I had to spoof it because I loved it so much!_

**Ash Chunks Keep Fallin' On My Head**

_Frodo and Sam are sitting just outside the entrance to Mount Doom. Sam is finally almost giving into despair just as Frodo is gaining all the hope in the world. Suddenly he stands up and begins singing and dancing to Sam._

Ash chunks keep fallin' on my head

And just like the men who realize that Sauron's dead

The Fourth age has begun

Those ash chunks are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

-

So I just did me some talkin' to the Sun

And I said I liked the way she did get things done

Sleepin' on the job

Those ash chunks are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

-

But there's one thing I know

The woes he sent to meet me won't defeat me

It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

-

Ash chunks keep fallin' on my head

But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red

Cryin's not for me

'Cause I'm never gonna stop the ash by complainin'

Because I'm free

The Ring was destroyed by me

------ trumpet ------

It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

-

Ash chunks keep fallin' on my head

But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red

Cryin's not for me

'Cause I'm never gonna stop the ash by complainin'

Because I'm free

The Ring was destroyed by me!


	24. From Gondor With Love

Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR, nor do I own the movie or song "From Russia With Love"

_Authors note: To all you James Bond fans out there, I dedicate this to you!_

**From Gondor With Love**

_Aragorn is writing Arwen from Gondor, letting her know she can now come there and they can get married. It's a singing letter, and when Arwen gets it, she is delighted to hear the elven baritone messenger sing:_

From Gondor with love I fly to you

Much wiser since my goodbye to you

I've traveled Middle-earth to learn

I must return from Gondor with love

-

I've seen places, faces and fought for a moment

But oh, you haunted me so

Still my tongue tied, young pride

I would let my love for you show

Despite your dad saying no

-

To Gondor I flew but there and then

I suddenly knew Elrond would come again

My running around is through

I fly to you, from Gondor with love


	25. Beyond the Sea

Disclaimer: I do not own ANYTHING!

_Authors note: Okay, the song I'm spoofing is "Beyond the Sea". Practically written for Middle-earth! I almost had this be Earendil and Elwing, but I decided to go with Elrond and Celebrian. I hope you enjoy and REVIEW! That's how I know whether to keep going or not!_

**Beyond the Sea**

_Elrond is lamenting the fact that Celebrian isn't there with him. Frodo is off destroying the Ring, and he is stuck in Rivendell. One afternoon at sunset he stands upon his balcony and looks west and begins to sing, quietly at first, but with increasing volume._

-

O're there beyond the sea

O're there waiting for me

Celebrian stands on white sands

And watches Grey ships that go sailing

-

Somewhere beyond the sea

She's there, watching for me

If only Lord Sauron would die

Then straight to her arms I'd go sailing

It's far beyond arda, it's near beyond the moon

I know beyond a doubt

The gulls will lead me there soon

-

We'll meet in Valinor

We'll kiss just as before

Happy we'll be beyond the sea

And never again I'll go sailing

Go sailing

-

_Once finished, Elrond realizes the Rivendell Orchestra had been accompanying him, and all the elves begin to clap wildly, demanding an encore._


	26. I Guess He'd Rather Be in Osgiliath

Disclaimer: I do not own ANY of it!

_Authors note: Okay,. I decided to put a bunch of songs over the next few chapters under one banner and call it Middle-earth in concert. It's snap shots from a concert in Gondor. I hope you all enjoy it!_

**Middle-earth In Concert**

**I Guess He'd Rather be in Osgiliath**

_Elrond steps up to the microphone and says, "Greetings strangers from a distant land and friends of old, I am Lord Elrond of Rivendell. Tonight, we are going to take you on a musical journey through...all sorts of places. So, with out further ado, I introduce Aragorn son of Arathorn!" The audience claps wildly as Elrond leaves and Aragorn takes the stage. He walks up to the mic with his guitar and begins to speak. "This song is written about Boromir and dedicated to him. You're great man!" Aragorn says to Boromir who is back stage. Aragorn begins to play his guitar._

("I Guess He'd Rather Be In Colorado" by John Denver)

I guess he'd rather be in Osgiliath

He'd rather spend his time out where Gondor looks like a pearl after the rain

Once again to see him fightin'

Once again to hear him talkin'

To the stars he writes and askin' them for war fare.

I guess he'd rather be in Osgiliath.

He'd rather slay with his sword in the morning when the moon is scarcely gone

In the dawn the orcs are comin'

In the dawn I see him fightin'

Some old orc he fought before in his own land

Guess he'd rather be in Osgiliath

Guess he'd rather be in Osgiliath

Guess he'd rather fight out where the only way you earn is if you kill

In the end he's in Imladris

In the end a quiet cough is all he has to show

He'd rather be orc hunting.

I guess he'd rather be in Osgiliath.

_Aragorn finishes and receives wild applause._


	27. Pour, Oh Pour the Dwarvish Sherry

Disclaimer: don't own Lord of the Rings. Nor do I own "Pour, Oh Pour the Pirate Sherry" by Gilbert and Sullivan.

_Authors note: well, I don't expect anyone to know this song, but look up the lyrics and it may help you laugh even harder._

**Middle-earth in Concert**

**Pour, Oh Pour the Dwarvish Sherry**

_Elrond walks up to the microphone and says, "That was wonderful! Now, our next song is by Gimli son of Gloin and the Dwarvish Men's Choir and the Moria Band!" There is wild applause as the aforementioned dwarves appear from behind the thick red curtain. The music begins to play they wait for their cue to sing._

-

**All:**

Pour, oh, pour the dwarvish sherry,

Fill, O fill the dwarvish glass!

And, to make us more than merry,

Let the dwarvish brandy pass!

-

**Gimli:**

For today our dwarvish 'prentice

Rises from indenture freed;

Strong his arm, and keen his skill is

He's a dwarf smith now indeed!

-

**Choir:**

Here's good luck to dwarvish ventures!

The young dwarf's out of his indentures.

-

**Gimli:**

Two and twenty, now he's rising,

And alone he's fit to smithy,

Which we're bent on signalizing

With unusual revelry.

-

**Choir:**

Here's good luck to dwarvish ventures!

The young dwarf's out of his indentures.

-

**Gimli and Choir:**

Pour, oh, pour the dwarvish sherry,

Fill, O fill the dwarvish glass!

And, to make us more than merry,

Let the dwarvish brandy pass!

_Gimli bowed low as the loud clapping ensued as the red curtain closed._


	28. Tinuviel

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR or"Darcy Farrow" sung by John Denver. Music and lyrics by Steve Gillette and Tom Campbell

_Authors note: I really like this song, but I don't know if y'all know it or not. Review and let me know!_

**Middle-earth in Concert**

**Tinuviel**

_Elrond comes back out on stage. "Next is Glorfindel the Balrog Slayer!" Clapping ensues as Glorfindel takes the stage, guitar in hand. He situates himself on the tall stool in front of the microphone and began to play._

_-_

Where the river runs down to the Beleriand plain

There lived a maiden, Tinuviel was her name

The daughter of old Thingol and a fair one was she

The sweetest flower that bloomed o'er the range

-

Her voice was as sweet as the elven candy

Her touch was as soft as the soft as light of stars

Her eyes shone bright like elven starlights

That shines in the night from Varda on down.

-

She was courted by wanderin' Beren

A fine man was he as I am to hear

He gave her glowing rings and ancient elven things

And she promised to wed before the snows came that year

-

Beren was slain, he did fall.

His dyin' caused her to follow to Mandos' Hall.

While talking through her pain, she found it wasn't in vain

And they met again, in a hidden elvish place.

-

They sing of Tinuviel where the Anduin runs through

They sing of her beauty in the White City too

At dusky sundown to her name they drink a round

And to young Beren whose love was true

-

_Glorfindel finished and sniffles were heard amongst the elves as well as loud applause._


	29. Frodo Boy

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR or "Danny Boy" by someone.

_Authors note: For all you celtic, irish music loving fans. REVIEW!_

**Middle-earth in Concert**

**Frodo Boy**

_Elrond resumes his place behind the microphone and says, "That was beautiful Glorfindel. That song holds a special place in my heart. Next up is Bilbo Baggins!" Bilbo comes out on stage in as the thick red curtain parted again to reveal the Hobbiton Symphony Orchestra. _

- -

Oh Frodo boy, the Ring, the Ring is calling

From glen to glen, and down Mount Doom's side

The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying

'tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.

-

But come you back when autumn's in the meadow

Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow

'tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow

Oh Frodo boy, oh Frodo boy, I love you so.

-

And if you come, when all the elves are sailing

And I am old, as old I already be

You'll come and find the place where I am sitting

And kneel and say you've come to join me.

-

And I shall hear, tho' soft you whisper to me

And all my dreams will warmer and sweeter be

If you'll not fail to destroy the Ring that took me

I simply sleep in peace until you come to me.

-

_Wild applause and cheers could be heard as Bilbo bowed, left the stage, and Elrond took it once more. "That was lovely Bilbo."_


	30. For Always

Disclaimer: Do not own LOTR or "For Always" as sung by Josh Groban

_Authors note: Again, to all you Josh Groban fans! ENJOY! To all: REVIEW! To they that have reviewed: THANK YOU! I LOVE REVIEWS!  
_

**Middle-earth in Concert**

**For Always**

"_Now, last but not least," Elrond says. "Legolas Greenleaf son of Thranduil!" Screaming fangirls greet the elf prince as he walks onto the Minas Tirith concert stage, stands in front of the microphone and listened for his cue as the music begins to play._

I close my eyes

and there in the forest I see your light

You come to me out of my dreams across

twilight.

-

You take my hand

though you may be so many leagues away

I know that our spirits and souls are one

We've sailed the seas and we've met the Sun

So here we'll stay

-

For always, forever

Beyond Arda and on to eternity

For always, forever

-

For us there's no time for our race

No barrier love won't erase

Wherever you go

I still to know

In my heart you will be

With me

-

From this day on I'm certain that I'll never be alone

I know what my heart must have always known

Elven love has a power that's all its own

-

And for always, forever

Now we can sail

And for always and always

We will go on beyond Arda

-

For always, forever

Beyond here and on to eternity

For always and ever

You'll be a part of me

And for always, forever

A thousand tomorrow's will cross the sky

And for always and always

We will go on

beyond Arda

_All of the fangirls screamed before they passed out and everyone else clapped wildly._ _Thus ends Middle-earth in Concert. YAY FOR ME!_


	31. What's Opera Sauron?

Disclaimer: Mesa no own LOTR, or Warner Bros., nor any opera at all.

_Authors note: Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd, meet Middle-earth. MWAHAHAHAHAHAA! This is the Bugs/Elmer opera where Elmer fudd has the magic helment and Bugs dresses up like a girl and... not the Barber of Seville one... The other one... I am SO sorry this is so long in coming, but here it is. REVIEW! PLEASE!  
_

**What's Opera Sauron**

_Frodo is wandering around the Shire when he comes upon a Ringwraith. Instead of panicking and hiding or going for the Ring, he boldly stands there and begins singing._

**Ringwraith:** Be very quiet. I'm hunting hobbits.  
_(spoken)_ HOBBIT TRACKS! HOBBIT HOLE!  
_(thrusting sword)_ KILL THE HOBBIT! KILL THE HOBBIT! KILL THE HOBBIT!

**Frodo:**_(spoken)_: Kill the hobbit?

**Ringwraith:** YO HO HO! YO HO HO! YO HO...

**Frodo: **Oh mighty nazgul of great fighting stock  
Might I inquire to ask eh... what's up doc?

**Ringwraith:** I'm going to kill the hobbit!

**Frodo:** O mighty nazgul, 'twill be quite a task  
How will you do it, might I inquire to ask?

**R:** I will do it with my sword and evil sniffer.

**F:** Sword and evil sniffer?

**R:** Sword and evil sniffer.

**F:** Evil sniffer?

**R**: Evil sniffer!

**F:**_(spoken, disparagingly)_: evil sniffer.

**R:** Yes, evil sniffer, and I give you a sample!

_(exit Frodo at warp speed)_

**R:**_(spoken)_: That was the hobbit!

_(Then a chase, followed by:)_

**R**: Oh, Lord Sauron, you're so evil.

**F**:_(impersonating Sauron's voice from behind a tree)_ Yes, I know it, I can't help it.

**R:** Oh, Lord Sauron, be my master...

_(A dance, then... )_

**R**: Return, my lord... a fire burning inside me...

**F:** Return my wraith, I want you always under me.

**R**: Folks like us must be...

**F:** Evil for all eternity...

**R & F **: Return, won't you return my Ring... for my Ring is yours.

_(While singing, they embrace. Frodo's mask falls to the ground... revealing his face)_

**Ringwraith**_(spoken, outraged)_: I'll KILL the hobbit!

**R **_(spoken)_: Naz 1 go, Naz four go. Nazgul, Uruk-hai... Orcs! SMAUG!

**R**_(spoken)_: Fear, evil, strike the hobbit!

_(Lightning flashes, striking in the distance -- now moving in, we see the limp and lifeless form of Frodo -- a drop of water clings to a crushed mushroom)_

**R:** What have I done?... I've killed the hobbit... Poor little half-ling... _(sob)_

_(Frodo is carried off in the Wraith King's arms... )_

**F**_(spoken)_: Well, what did you expect from an opera, a happy ending?

------------------- The End... That's all Folks -------------

_Authors note: Well, I hope y'all liked it! If not, oh well. I had fun though listening to the song and writing this. Maybe, if I get any reviews showing interest, I'll do the Rabbit of Seville Middle-earth style. LOL! REVIEW!_


	32. King of Gondor

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR, nor the song "King of the Road" by that one guy, with that name, you know.

_Authors note: Hahaha! Love this song, the parady was easy. I hope that I haven't done this song before... That would be bad! Sorry this was so long in coming!  
_

**King of the Road**

_Aragorn is not yet king, in fact, he is yet years from it, but that hardly means he isn't thinking about it!_

Orcs to capture or kill, for Sauron wishes me ill.

No home, no bath, no bed, no where soft to lay my head

But I know one day I will be done

When finally the war is won.

I'm a man of means by no means, future king of Gondor.

Third journey pouring rain, In my feet there is great pain.

Old worn out sword and shoes, I don't get no howd'you do's

I smoke Old Toby I have found, For sixty years now I've wandered 'round

For my hopes against my fears, I'm prayin' that this path makes me

King of Gondor.

I know if I make it there I will be

Ruler of two kingdoms, they'll belong to me

And every man in every town

Will be my subject, and bow to my crown.

I say...

Orcs still to catch or kill, for Sauron wishes me ill

I'm a man of means by no means

King of Gondor.


	33. Jingle Bells

_Authors note: No, I have not forgotten this! YAY! In light of the Christmas season, I am spoofing some Christmas songs. First of several! Please note references to The Exorsist (which I do not own) and various other things._

**Jingle Bells**

_Tis the first Yule time after the destruction of the Ring, and the hobbits have had one too many pints..._

Jingle Bells

Gollum Smells

Sauron wants his Ring

The ents have taken Isengard

And all the orcs can't sing

Ooh!

Jingle Bells

Human's smell

Gollum wants the Ring

The elves are leaving on Grey Ships

And Pippin sure can sing!

--

Frodo is on a trek

To destroy the one Ring

While smelly Aragorn

Is trying to become King

He's in a love triangle

With Eowyn and Arwen

And if he's caught then he shall be

One dead ranger-man

--

Oooh!

Jingle Bells

Mordor smells

Denethor's crazy!

Gimli's getting sea-sick

And Legolas hears the sea

Ooh!

Jingle Bells

Sauron smells

Gimli's breath is bad

Denethor hates Faramir

And that makes his son sad.

--

The Witch-king thinks he's won

But Eowyn's no man

Sam's tired of Lembas

Nob is a hired hand

Elrond's brows are scary

And Haldir is not dead

Galadriel is turning blue

Now watch her spinning head!

--

Ooh!

Jingle Bells

Gimli smells

Celeborn talks weird

Hobbitses have hairy feet

And dwarf women have beards

Oh!

Jingle Bells

Bilbo smells

Yes those trolls are stone

Butterbur forgot again

And Bag end row is Home!

_And the four hobbits took a bow._


	34. Elf Eyes Cryin' in the Rain

Disclaimer: don't own LOTR, or the song"Blue Eyes Cryin' In the Rain" by Willie Nelson.

**Elf Eyes Cryin' In the Rain**

_Elrond reflects on the parting of he and Celebrian, his darling wife. He is now on his way to the Grey Havens, and he begins to sing quietly…_

In the twilight I see

Elf eyes cryin' in the rain.

When we kissed good bye and parted

I knew we'd some day meet again

Love is like a dying ember

And only memories remain

And through the ages I'll remember

Elf eyes cryin' in the rain

---musical interlude---

Someday when we meet in Elf home

We'll stroll hand in hand again

In the land that knows no partin'

Elf eyes cryin' in the rain.


End file.
